Disability

I have decided that I have a disability.
You've heard of the saying “use it or lose it”?
Well that’s truly how it is with me, no doubt. If I do not drive to a certain place at least once a week I have to make a conscious effort to remember how to get there. If it has been longer than a month I normally have to get directions written out for me. Weird huh?

I think that’s why I was never much good at math or piano or spelling or anything you have to practice a lot at.
I don’t have the time to do a lot of practicing so it just goes right out of my brain.

I am sure it leaves to make room for something more important, but I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet. Something genius though.
Do you know how many times I have taught myself how to knit and crochet? Granted it doesn't go away completely, once I see it again I remember faster. Or once I read it again, or drive it again things are familiar to me.
However a couple good points in not having a very good memory is that I can re-read books many times cuz I can never remember them (even the ones I write…they are so exciting!)

I also never hold a grudge long. First of all I have to ‘deal’ with bad feelings because I can’t function with them weighing me down. And then because of my wonderful memory it just leaves me. I can honestly say at this moment I do not hate anyone or even have bad feelings toward anyone. I probably should, but just can’t remember who or why!

So while I struggle and feel at a disadvantage in a lot of things because of this self diagnosed disability, there is a lot of good that can come from it. I have always felt compelled to keep a journal and I have ever since I was a young girl.

I LOVED Little House on the Prairie books and thought for sure someday I would write my life story like that too…uh, dunno about that…but I am glad for the record because I would have forgotten a lot of important things that have gone on in my extremely not ordinary life.

That leads me to my habitual list making. I have to make lists for everything otherwise I will stress about what I am 'forgetting.'
My almost two year old daughter erased my “list” on my grease board the other day and I about had a hernia!

If I didn’t write things down I would constantly be stressed and worried about forgetting something. My husband thought it was pretty funny because I was freaking out trying to remember what was erased.
Well, it won’t be so funny when I forget to do something he asked me to do :)
Ahhhh...my poor memory!