"Who are You" Poem

Who are You? (January 31, 2014 by A.E. Bell) I search the records tirelessly, I just know you belong to my family. Thousands of names, but you’re not here, And yet, I feel you so very near. Who are you? What did you do? Where did you go? I have a need to know. The veil shrouds my memories, There’s something beyond what I can seize. It feels like reminiscence of old dreams, Something out of focus and more than it seems. So who are you? What more can I do? I search and listen and pray, Tell me, is there another way? I’ll never give up, rest or quit, For hours I search without a hit. Finally, I see your name! Finally, someone that I claim! My heart pounds with love! I feel a smile from above. I wipe away a single tear, Tonight, the veil is very sheer. Who are you? Who could you be? Now I see, You are the completion of me.

Tidbits to other Parents #2

I was talking with a group of young mothers and I could not hold back sharing with them something I felt could be helpful. So I thought I'd write a bit of it up here, for what it's worth. You might consider, with your spouse if you have one if not with a trusted friend or family member, discussing how you will respond to certain situations with your children. How will you respond if you have a child come to you and tell you they are gay? How will you respond if you have a child come and say he doesn’t believe in God or resents you for shoving religion down their throats? How will you respond if you have a child come to you with an addiction whether it be, drugs, porn, gaming,sex,codependency, food etc. How will you respond if you have a child come and say they aren’t worthy to serve a mission or that they are pregnant? How will you respond if the child does not come to you but you find out in other ways that something is going on? How will you respond if your child or children rebel against everything you have felt so dear or strongly about? I suggest you take every fear you might have regarding a child and face it, talk about it, discuss how you will react initially and how you will love your children unconditionally and accept them without accepting the behavior. That’s what I would advise. Because I guarantee, you WILL face something, sometime and your initial reaction is pivitol in retaining a relationship in order to help your children through their hardships. Love IS the answer. Maybe sometime I will share how we have or have decided to react and handle certain situations, but for now.., LOVE.

Tidbits to other parents #1

February 14, 2014 Ah yes, you must not faint, it has been too long since I have written here although believe me the silly thoughts have never ceased. But tonight the thoughts aren't so much on the silly side as they are on the serious. Are you a parent? As a parent have you ever had that moment where you sat back, looked at your spouse and asked, “Do you think we’re up for this? Are we really capable of bringing up these incredibly spirited, courageous, precious children without ruining them or losing them?" Sometimes it feels that the whole of Hell is raging at our door trying to suck them away from us. But, at the same moment I am fighting off desperation and tears are falling, I am filled with a simple thought that renews faith and hope. He would not have sent them to us if He didn't believe that we could handle it. Not to say that we won’t make mistakes but if we stay close to Him we won’t make any mistakes that will result in the loss of a child.And if HE believes in me, than I should too. There is hope. So, I was asked the other day by another mother if I could give any advice to young mothers what would the most important advice be? What would I tell them to prioritize and focus on. Let me remind you that I am still in the middle of raising my children ages 6 years to 15 years and have a a lot to learn still but I did not hesitate for a moment, I answered, “Make sure they know that you love them unconditionally. If they know this they will trust you when they screw up. You have to start when they are little building that kind of relationship. How do you react when they spill the milk on accident (it was a mistake)? How do you react when they spill the milk because they didn’t stop fooling around when you told them too (They were disobedient )? How do you react when they spill the milk on purpose (Open rebellion)? Yes, start now to pray to be able to love them unconditionally. I don’t think that kind of love automatically comes for all parents. Sometimes it takes work. I pray every morning to be able to see each of my children the way God sees them, because if I do I will never mistreat them. If finding out what their primary Love Language is in order to love them wholly is the key, then make it a priority. Make sure they know you love them and won’t stop when they screw up. Make sure they know God loves them and won’t stop when they screw up. Unconditional Love is Pivotal!

Respite in writing (November 4, 2011)

November 4, 2011 Friday It feels good to write. How I have had something missing in my heart since I have been absent at my place before words. When I am able to express myself in words on paper I feel fulfilled. It fills something missing. It completes me it helps me to focus. I feel refreshed and renewed and I feel heard. May not be heard right now, right this second, but when it counts, when it matters, when I will affect someone’s life when they read my words, then, I will be heard. It is fascinating to me that writing affects me so much. Even jotting a simple something down, or recording a thought in my journal or writing something like this, helps me. Why does it affect me so? That’s a question for another day. There are children to be taught, laundry to be washed, a house to clean, tears to be shed and laughter to be heard. I better close my respite.

Adorable! Watermelons (September 2011)

And then of course we have Sarah, my five year old, so excited to eat our home grown watermelon. Her eager shiny eyes dancing with delight as I position the knife over the green dome of deliciousness. I slice and hand her a piece. Her fallen face and almost instant tears to the eyes catch my undivided attention. “What is wrong?” I ask. A sniffle and explanation through pouty lips, “I can’t eat this, it has seeds in it!” Ahhh, the spoiled children of our day. I laughingly explain that most watermelons do and they are even more fun to eat because you get to spit the seeds. We then spend many happy minutes practicing our seed spitting off the porch. She is quite talented!

Just a day in my life... (September 20, 2011)

September 20, 2011 So, it is not uncommon in my house to walk into the kitchen, as I did just a couple days ago, and find toast in the toaster. However, before you nod off to sleep, this story may be a bit different than your house because everyone had left for school and breakfast had been over for some hours. Yes, toast, cold and lonely left in the toaster. The other night I walked out and found toothbrush in the hall on the floor. It had just been used and tossed carelessly, no doubt, during a wrestling match that included toothpaste, water and little boy bodies. We won’t even begin to talk about what comes through the washer and dryer, but in all fairness I must record the white dough ball that came through. I smelled it and it smelled like wet dough…no doubt it had been a tortilla that was put into a pocket for a secret snack later…and then forgotten! Then I find we have about 9 half eaten forgotten apples weeping on the counter…..made fresh applesauce… Lemons into lemonade right?

Hens (July 27, 2011)

July 27, 2011 Have you ever seen a real live hen with her chick? It brings new meaning to that scripture “as a hen gathereth her chicks” or something like that. I thoroughly love watching our hen with her one chick. How she protects it and truly gathers it under her wing. I have stood in the pen for minutes upon minutes just watching the tiny fluff ball jet around and through the other chicks always to return quickly its mother for protection, or just to be near her. It reminds me of when my children call out for me, just to know where I am, not because they need anything, they just want to know I am close. I am curious to see whether it will be a rooster or hen 